Lessons in "Cattitude"

“Life Would Be Purr-fect If Only You Would  Listen To Your Cat”


by T.G.


     T.G. the “All-Knowing Feline Goddess of Everything and Everyone,” here to impart to you the second lesson in bringing cattitude into your life. Now, I must assume that you have done your necessary stretching, as it was key in our first lesson and causing a Feline Goddess to continually repeat herself can bring serious repercussions upon you.


     Lesson two is all about the importance of relaxation in your hectic human life. In all my years, I have never understood the propensity that most humans have towards chaos. Around our house it used to be jump out of bed; rush, rush, rush; collapse into bed at night then toss and turn because there was no time to wind down. My poor human…she was always tired and snapping at everyone like some nasty dog (and by now we should all know how I feel about dogs). 


     That, of course, was when I took her aside and explained to her about “cattitude” (and how if she did not change hers, I would suffocate her in her sleep). Applying my best Cheshire cat grin, I filled her in on the art of the “Cat Nap.” The look she gave me said it all. How could she squeeze one more thing into her already crazy and chaotic day?


     Luckily for her, she was not as thick-headed as some humans I have met. After stretching appropriately (which included extending my claws into her leg—just to be certain I had her attention) I made my way to the bedroom. I knew she would follow as I am the “All-Knowing Feline Goddess” (and she needed a bandage for the puncture wounds on her leg). It took a little time to coax her onto the bed, but finally she got the idea (honestly, if I were the sharing sort I would have just drugged her with the catnip, but…I am not the sharing sort). Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep immediately. After she had napped for 15-20 minutes (or approx. 45 slow swishes of my tail) I woke her with a sneeze—in her face. It is amazing how quickly she gets up when I do that…comes in very handy when I would like my breakfast at 2a.m.  Her first comment was about how rested she felt (ok…her comment was “Jeez, Tiger not again,” as she wiped her face). After that she made it a habit to take a cat nap every day.


Lesson Two simplified:

     Take a 15-20 minute nap every day. Even if you are only resting your head on your desk or listening to your IPod in your car on your lunch break, that “cat nap” will refresh you so that you can continue your day with a clear mind. Of course, proper “cat naps” require lying on a bed with various cats place strategically around you so that you can hear the purring in stereo. However, as it is difficult to carry your bed and cats with you to work, I have improvised with the aforementioned acceptable solution.


Until next time humans, remember...live a long and healthy life…don’t forget to feed your cats.